Liew Life

Sometimes, I feel like there is something different about me.    I notice it most after work, when I am driving back to my apartment. The day is almost over. I have left the office, said my goodbyes, and done everything I was supposed to do. There is nothing unusual happening. Just the road, the traffic, and me trying to get home.    But I don’t want to talk.    I don’t want to explain how my day went. I don’t want to answer questions, even simple ones. Sometimes, I don’t even want to choose a song. I just want to drive and let the silence sit beside me for a while.    And when I finally arrive at my apartment, that feeling doesn’t immediately disappear. I put my things down. I take off my shoes. I am finally in my own space, where nobody needs me to be anything for a moment. Still, I feel tired in a way that is difficult to explain.   My body wants to rest, but my minds is still somewhere between the office and home. Maybe I am like this bec...

Some days arrive with a plan. They come with alarms set the night before, reservations saved in our phones, places to be, people to meet, and something waiting for us at the end of the day.    There are birthdays. Flights. Promotions. Holidays. Long-awaited dinners.   Days when we dress a little better, take more pictures than usual, and somehow know  – even while we are living them – that we will probably remember them later.   And then there are days like today. A Saturday with nowhere particularly important to go.    I woke up without needing to rush.  There was no meeting waiting for me, no suitcase by the door, no itinerary to follow. Outside, the world continued as usual, but inside the apartment, everything felt slower.    My mom was here with me.   And perhaps that was the only plan I really had for the day – to stay home, accompany her, and let the hours pass without asking too much from them.    It sounds almost ...

Just got back from my hometown after a Chinese New Year trip. And if there’s one thing I keep thinking about since then, it’s this— so this is what being an adult feels like.   The weight of responsibility sits heavier each year. Being the only son means taking care of my mom, making sure she’s okay, making sure I’m okay. My back aches at least once a week, a little reminder that my body isn’t as resilient as it used to be. My eyesight is getting worse, even though I’ve tried to cut down my screen time. I’ve been trying to eat cleaner—less carbs, less sugar, more water, and workouts six days a week. ( Tried , at least. The last time I jumped rope, I somehow hurt my back. No idea how that happened, but it did.)   And then, there’s time. It moves differently these days. Slipping through my fingers faster than I can hold onto it. One moment, I was in Japan celebrating New Year, and now? It’s already February.  How?   Spending time in my hometown felt like a break from r...

Life is full of moments where choices aren’t just decisions, they’re turning points. And right now, I’m standing at one of those moments, looking at two roads stretched out in front of me. One path feels safe, familiar, wrapped in the warmth of everything I know. The other feels uncertain, a little unknown, but it hums with the quiet promise of something new and exciting.    There’s a part of me—a loud, restless part—that long for change. It’s a craving I can’t ignore anymore, a need to step into a new rhythm, to explore a life where every step feels like growth. I imagine what it might be like to wake up in a place that challenges me, pushes me, forces me to adapt. A place where even the seasons change, reminding me that nothing in life is meant to stay the same.    But chasing that feeling means leaving so much behind. It means walking away from the people who’ve been my anchor—my mom, my sisters, my close friends. The ones who know me better than anyone, who’ve se...

Today, on my 26 th  birthday, and while dealing with some back pain, I find myself reflecting on the past year-the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Turning 25 was a big deal, and it brought its own challenges and lessons that changed me in ways I didn’t expect.   Being 25 felt like standing at a crossroads. The world around me was moving fast, and I was constantly questioning whether I was on the right path. Career choices, relationships, personal growth-everything seemed to demand my attention all at once. It was a year where I had to really look at my fears, insecurities, and what I truly wanted.   There’s something about 25 that feels like a turning point. Society tells you that by this age, you should have things figured out a stable career, financial independence, maybe even a clear direction for the future. But the reality is often far messier. I felt the pressure, both from myself and others, and it wasn’t easy to handle.   This past year wasn’t jus...

Lunch time.  Salah satu waktu yang kutunggu di hari kerja untuk menghilang sejenak dari ruangan penuh orang dengan layar dihadapannya. Menjauh sejenak dari segala pekerjaan yang ada, mengistirahatkan pikiran dan mental yang kurang stabil akhir-akhir ini. Duduk di atas sofa yang cukup tersembunyi di pojok café dengan pemandangan yang cukup tenang.    Banyak hal yang mulai kupertanyakan. Semakin pudar masa depan yang sudah kubuat sedemikian rupa. Semakin sulit mengendalikan hal yang sudah direncanakan sebelumnya. Banyak hal yang tidak terduga terjadi,  error  kecil yang terkadang, cukup mengganggu. Namun apa daya, yang dapat kulakukan hanyalah berpura-pura, seolah seluruhnya masih dalam kendali, seolah seluruhnya terjadi sesuai dengan rencana yang telah dibuat.   Bertambah umur setiap detiknya membuat semakin banyak cabang dalam pikiranku yang harus selalu kupertahankan agar tidak menjadi benalu dalam hidup. Bertahan dengan menjaga diri dan pikiran sembari me...

Aku kembali, setelah lebih dari setahun aku tidak menulis. Duduk dengan pakaian yang cukup rapi, yang telah Aku prediksi sebelumnya, akan menjadi pakaian sehari-hariku dalam beberapa tahun ke depan. Deringan telefon dan hembusan angin AC telah menjadi makanan telingaku untuk beberapa bulan terakhir.    Aku, telah menjadi seseorang yang sedikit berbeda dari sebelumnya. Pikiran-pikiran yang muncul dan hal-hal yang dihadapi pun berbeda. Aku tetaplah aku, seseorang yang selalu menyimpan segala sesuatu di dalam pikiran. Aku telah masuk ke sebuah lingkungan yang baru, disertai dengan orang-orang yang baru pula. Mulai mengetahui kehidupan yang sebenarnya. Aku mulai menelaah kebiasaan orang-orang yang baru, yang ada di sekitarku. Ada beberapa yang benar-benar sesuai dengan prinsip hidupku, ada pula yang tidak. Aku tidak membenci atau menyalahkan mereka, dan tidak pernah terlintas dalam pikiranku untuk menuntut mereka menjadi seseorang yang Aku inginkan.    Aku, telah terpeca...